Dear Jilda,
I am a heterosexual Guy. I love people and can make friends with anyone whom is caring., honest and funny. I have many gay friends that fall into these categories and I enjoy their company very much. Unfortunately there are other people and friends in my life who cannot accept or fathom this. What do I do?
Joey, New Jersey
Dear Joey,
You sound very sensitive, smart and open minded. You have a lot of the right insights and criteria for choosing a good friend. It seems to me these people who judge you and your friends fail by your good measure. Anyone who can judge or accept a wonderful, kind and caring person into their life based on sexual preference may have an identity issue themselves. They may not be the right fit for your kind , loving nonjudgmental world. My advice to you is to stand by those who makes you happy , feel good and true to yourself.
Dear Jilda,
I am a 34 year old woman. I am married with 2 children, ages 4 and 6. Raising children is a very tough job. I am always frustrated or tired. I am no longer my charming self. Lately I have found myself regretting ever having children. If I had to do it over, I wonder if I would. I feel guilty about these feelings and would like to know if other women feel this way too.
Anonymous, Nevada
Dear Anonymous,
I am a Mother of an eight year old girl. I love this child with all my heart. Motherhood has changed my life, my friendships, my stability, and identity, not to mention my relationship with my husband. Everything has changed! So like you, I have found some of this difficult. Yet there are upsides. For example, I am more patient than I have ever been. I am no longer self absorbed. I am a more responsible adult. So yes, motherhood is the hardest, all consuming, and life altering experience you will ever have. Feelings of regret and guilt about this is valid and understandable. Most parents go through this. So here is an idea you might like to try. Designate a "You" day or even a "you" hour. Use that down time from being a Mom and just be "You" again. Ask your partner to help coordinate your weekly "You" time. This may be difficult at first., but it can help you deal with the serious challenges of parenting. Take it a day at a time and try not to take setbacks to personally. Leave yourself a bit of wiggle room.Some "You" time will translate into being a better parent. Guaranteed!!
