Ask Jilda Letters

Dear Jilda

Hi, I am really in a lot of emotional pain and I hope you can give me some insight. I recently met a potential boyfriend on the phone. A mutual friend said we would absolutely have a love connection so I told her to give him my number. From the moment we spoke I was in love! He was sweet, funny, smart and witty. We began to speak every day and night.We texted pictures as well. He was very handsome and sexy in the pictures. I thought for sure this was THE ONE. Our daily connecting went on for 2 weeks while we worked out our schedules and planned to meet. Finally the day had come.
It was love at first site. We had sex the following week. The problem is he was on the small side and just couldn’t satisfy my needs. We tried different positions and styles but nothing worked. Is there any hope? Everything else is a dream come true. Help!

Belinda, Newport Beach, Ca
Hi Belinda,
Wow girl I feel your pain. There are many artificial alternatives on the market. Do you really want to go there? I feel the sexual elements in a relationship are as important as all the others. Ok, I’m sure he is a great friend, but the person you get intimate and emotionally involved with must be the total package baby. I’m sorry, but I think you have little or no options in this situation. Living with being unfulfilled sexually will eventually cause serious resentment and future heartache.  So sorry I can’t say something you want to hear. I think your Prince Charming, Knight in Shiny Armor, love of your life is still out there looking for YOU!

Good luck
Jilda

Dear Jilda,


I am a 23 year old girl. My father is 46. My parents have been divorced for some time now. Believe me I am over it. I recently met my father for a short lunch date and he brought a new girlfriend. The issue is she was younger than me. What could they possibly have in common? She barely talked the whole time. I just don’t get it? What is your take on this.
Elle

Hi Elle,

 

I don’t want to generalize the male population, but there is a specific type of man who seeks this dynamic. Men by nature are very visual creatures. Of course, they can admire a smart, educated, successful woman, but is that the deal breaker or the way to this man’s heart or head. NO!!! They have to like what they see more so than what they hear. These men need to feel admired not admire. They need to feel lust not like, brilliant not belittled. This proves my point. A younger more innocent woman tends to be more easily influenced, infatuated and impressed. These are feelings that make that type of man feel empowered, sexy and confident. Wouldn’t you want to be with someone who makes you feel that way? Especially if you can’t achieve that feeling independently. Like I said I can’t generalize, but the type of man who seeks a much younger woman usually values these qualities.

Jilda